Hach - Mor_ons guide is no longer available at the links he posted so I can only assume he took them down for what ever reason.
Sounds like some of your trouble is related to knowing when to use the repeater and when not to - if you have a team on follow and your leader zones out of an area while your team is still in the first zone - they will try to still "follow" the leader - by foot - to the other zone - even if its 1000's of meters away. It will look like they are running off in random directions but they are actually making a As-the-crow-flies bee-line in the direction of where they think your leader is... same goes for entering a house or shop or building... if the leader goes in first, the team will run off looking for him.
The solution is simple - just walk up to a door with your team on follow and stop just before it - make sure everyone is lined up in the same direction (facing the door) and click on the repeater - and open the door and move forwards until everyone is inside - then click the repeater off and continue with your purpose - same for zoning - entering a neighborhood/instance or what ever - just use the repeater key and have all your toons do the same action as your main at the same time - it takes some practice to get it fluid and not looking like a confused noob - but in time you'll hardly even notice it - a key for me is when my team is following my main - I make exaggerated movements as I approach things so my train of fellows will be able to follow my foot-stamps and be pretty much aligned with what I'm trying to use/do/loot/interact/whatever.
For instances through the instance panel - just make sure your team is on "stop follow" - I put in an extra step in my follow key (F) that on re-press it sends the "s" command (which is backwards movement ) and it breaks the follow - then you can enter the instance on each member by switching screens and manually joining one by one - or use the repeater key and do it all at once.
As far as the members not facing the direction you want to contribute - I just made a keymap of "others movement" where I assigned keystrokes on my num pad to move my team just like my main... I have num5, num1, num2, num3 set up to send w,a,s,d for all w/o current and can move, turn and position my team independently from my main - I even set up num+ for others to jump! you'll have to jockey around some keymaps in LOTRO as these num keys are by default to other functions (mainly camera stuff) but I switched my camera controls to my up, down, left , right keys - just a preference.
Hope this helps some -